Resolutions

Unlike most years, the year of 2017 begins with me seeing actual goals for myself and trying my bloody hardest to stick to them.

Past years I have off-offhandedly said a generic resolution which in my mind I never intended on keeping, but this year I’m going to put my lazy ways behind me and actual give it a good go.

Does this mean my resolutions will not be cliché? God no, in fact they’re probably the most popular ones to have but I gotta start somewhere right?

1. Lose the bloody weight.

That may seem very trivial and cliché but in all honesty I’ve been really trying for the past two months. I mean I didn’t pick the best season to start (only I would choose to diet at the beginning of the Christmas season) but I’ve been ‘overweight’ since I was 19 – I’m now 23 and on my 24th year so this shit needs sorting pronto.

2. Don’t let my anxiety stop me.

You would be surprised how many times I turn things down thanks to my anxiety and claim it’s because I’m just not interested. Over the past few years it’s become so common that even my partner has become accustomed to my Antonio social behavior and when events arise, asks me with little hope. It’s not that I don’t enjoy seeing people, I do and I love socialising. However, when you have a mind that constantly thinks everyone is looking at you, at your fatty bits, judging your make up, stance, clothing…. shall I go on? It makes for an awkward Sarah who is very aware of her own breathing. This usually only happens when I’m around people who I’m not too familiar with but still it makes for a shitty time.

3. Further my career

I’m lucky enough to say I got a job in art after completing my bachelors. Yeah I know I’m as rare as a pink were-rabbit and I’m bloody grateful. I’ve been at my job of an in-house graphic designer for coming up to 2 years this summer and as much as it has helped me grow, some of the stresses I’ve faced were on a more person based level than work based. I don’t want to speak I’ll of those I work with/for as that is something im strongly against but I feel being around certain people for the past 18 months has made me jaded in a way I never thought I could be. I’m far more pessimistic than I used to be and that’s not just because adulting sucks a good 50% of the time. I just need a fresh start, not sure where or when but it’s on the cards.

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